at times i feel like i am the luckiest person in the world when it comes to friends. i become so thankful i want to cry and thank the universe because i never thought that i would see they day where i would have true friends who would love the same things as i and support me and love me the way they do.
growing up in elementary school i never felt like i fit in, my thoughts were never ones that my peers related to and often times i was looked at as being weird~ and the same went for middle school, i always felt isolated. even when i had "friends" they were just people who i had slight things in common with. their priorities were often very superficial and would rather much talk about boys other than politics and movies and how pretty flowers are or just life in general. i found myself just walking around and going to the library and just staring at the walls or people watched and listened to others conversations just admiring life itself. it was so hard for me to make true friends. highschool happened and it was even harder. i would come home and cry because i didnt understand how i couldnt just relate. and i tried so hard to talk about all the dumb things they talked about, partying, going out, gossip but i couldnt and i kept feeling like i could never find a group of friends. it didnt help that when i would talk to my parents about it they would blame me and say i was an awful friend and i was doing this to myself. somehow and magically things started to change and i met josh and we became friends and i cant even beging to explain how thankful i am for him. and then i met more wonderful people and mountair happened and mikey happened and finally i found a crowd that appreciated alterative music and things that werent widely accepted. and then melissa happened. im so thankful for melissa, i cant believe through working at starbucks i met one of the greatest persons in the world. her and her husband (who's a fucking professor at usc ok) are so amazing, i drove out to their apt in long beach which was so far but so worth it. its so beautiful inside and they both have so much literature everywhere and vinyl and they love popculture they way i do and appreciate me and talk to me and when im around them i forget about 18 and what 18 represents (youth, wildness, naiveness). they make me feel so equal to them and actually listen and i just cant express how happy i am around them. they cooked me the most wonderful dinner and we talked about adderall, and literature and watched pretty wild and boys and life. they mean so much to me and melissa always jokes about how im her adopted mexican daughter <3 <3 <3 when my root canal happened she texted me asking how it went, caring more than my father and mother who refused to go with me. same goes with jorin, he always listens to me and the day i visited him at his apt he made me feel so comfortable and ordered me breadsticks and we watched netflix and hopefully soon we'll go to brite spot again and i love his hugs. when im sad i just think about the people in my life and how much i love them and how happy they make me and then everything is a little more ok.