sad since i dont my car today but its okay taking the bus will make my day feel like im getting more use out of life if that makes sense
last night i performed for johns birthday and although i had had a beer by the time i performed i was already sobering up but i still got crazy and it just kinda comes out i cant put it into words
gordon zoloft was there and tj said hes going to ask us to play them, which is really cool~

john i hope you had a lovely evening and everything went well! we all love you so much and you're such a big part of our lives and we cant thank you enough for all kindess in your heart.

yucky i have to go work ))): but its okay i have to remember im making moneys~ and i might see ian its been a week!!! i miss him so much and last night i performed a song about him well most of my songs were inspired by him and this other boy but mostly him <3____<3 and how nervous i am around him and how i cant get it together ever

i secretly hope he notices im not there and then maybe when he sees me today he'll mention something like "hey where were you?" that would make me so happy heehehe but i probably should get my hope up