as soon as i came into work ian was in line and i talked to him for a bit then went to the back. i got my wallet since i wanted to buy the leather jacket that i put on hold at squaresville and as i went outside i saw him and we ended up talking by the stairs and we talked about my dog zeppy that i had and he asked me about who i saw at the fonda since i had my wrist band on from last night and he told me he went to a bar yesterday with his friend but it wasnt a date and we talked more about parus and i told him maybe i'd see him saturday and he didnt say "yeah" in that enthusiastic way that i'd want him to so idk if i have a chance. 

after this situation happened i grabbed coffee sleeves from the register, went to the back room and wrote down all of what just happened to me and the feelings that came from the situation. 

being realistic i dont think anything will ever happen and it makes me so sad since im starting to believe i'll never find anyone that will want to be with me. maybe its the post valentines day sad me speaking or just idk silly feelings. anyways two of my friends birthdays are coming up soon and im making one of them a mix cd and the other im not sure yet.  

tomorrow i have work at 5:45 am and i really dont feel like being there for eight hours so as soon as i get out i plan to go home get ready and go to topshop and use the gift card i got. 

i want time to passs, i want to know what the future holds for me, i just am tired of being tired idk